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Maths Lesson 1/3/2006
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:
<br>
"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years
old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able
to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I
sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn
that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the
Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old ...
0 Comments,
506 Views,
13 Votes
,5.83 Score
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Fun puns 12/27/2005
We are beings of pleasure. Yet, we live in a sex-and-pleasure-
negative culture. Most of us are very fragmented and wounded
around sexuality. We often have a very limited experience
which leaves us feeling deeply unsatisfied. We know that
there has to be more to sex and we want more.
<br>
Sacredness is not used here in any conventional religious
sense. It refers to natural ...
0 Comments,
99 Views,
1 Votes
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Sperm Donor 12/20/2005
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital center.
<br>
Man: "What are you doing here today?"
Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're
going to give me $5 for it."
Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here
to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."
<br>
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted
some more before going their separate ...
1 Comments,
113 Views,
40 Votes
,5.87 Score
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junior 12/5/2005
One day mom was cleaning juniors room and in the closet she
found a
bondage S+M magazine. This was very upsetting for her.
<br>
She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed
it to him. He
looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word.
<br>
She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about
this?" <br>
Dad looked at her and said, "Well ...
0 Comments,
311 Views,
21 Votes
,5.11 Score
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Whisky 12/3/2005
Woman walks intoa bar, and asks bartender for 5 whiskies.
<br>
The bartender asks why so many?
<br>
Woman replies I've just given head for the first time
(blowjob)
<br>
Bartender replies congratulations have the sixth one
on the house.
<br>
Woman replies no thanks if five won't kill the taste
I don't think extra one will either.
<br>
<br> ...
0 Comments,
196 Views,
12 Votes
,2.27 Score
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Should've asked if anything was stolen. 11/14/2005
A husband returned from a trip and was told by his wife that
a thief had entered their home while the husband was away.
"Did he get anything, " the husband asked anxiously.
"Well, yeah, " answered the woman, "it
was dark and I thought it was you."
1 Comments,
138 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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G O T H 11/14/2005
Q/ How do you get a goth out of a tree?
<br>
A/ Cut the rope!...
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
An oldie, but a goodie!! lol
2 Comments,
69 Views,
0 Votes
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Can you help a gal out... 11/13/2005
Bernice and Vanessa, two professional "Ladies of
the Evening" were talking. Bernice had recently
been in a car accident. Bernice asked Vanessa, "Can
you loan me a hundred bucks, just until I can get back on my
back"
4 Comments,
266 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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The geography of women. 11/13/2005
The Geography of a Woman
<br>
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia.
She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful
with bushland around the fertile deltas.
<br>
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan.
Completely discovered, very well developed and open to
trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
...
0 Comments,
186 Views,
4 Votes
,2.47 Score
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This joke will bug you. 11/2/2005
"NO!" screamed the lady millipede, crossing
her legs as the amorous male millipede made sexual advances,
"a thousand times no!"
1 Comments,
107 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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What a zinger! 10/28/2005
There was a young wife whose grouchy husband had become
neglectful. The woman decided to try one last time to awaken
his sleeping interest with a little attempt to make him
jealous.
"Sweetheart, " she whispered one night, "the
young, handsome doctor I saw today told me I had the most
beautiful face, the most firm and round breasts and the
longest, shapliest legs he had ever seen in ...
2 Comments,
190 Views,
10 Votes
,5.18 Score
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F U C K - a definition of a glorious word! 10/22/2005
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words
in the English language today is the word "fuck".
<br>
It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe
pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
<br>
In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical
categories.
<br>
It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary)
and intransitive (Mary ...
1 Comments,
102 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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WOMEN HAVE TEETH DOWN THERE! 10/16/2005
A little boy is waiting for his mom to come out of the changing
room while shopping with her.
<br>
The little boy gets bored and when his mom comes out, she
finds him sliding his hand up a dummy's skirt.
<br>
"GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE!" she shouts. "DON'T
YOU KNOW THAT WOMEN HAVE TEETH DOWN THERE!"
<br>
The little boy quickly snatches his hand away and ...
0 Comments,
145 Views,
6 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Religion on Shit...... 10/16/2005
05:27 06/10/05
Taoism: Shit happens.
Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism: This shit has happened before.
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
...
2 Comments,
144 Views,
11 Votes
,4.10 Score
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TAMPONS 10/15/2005
IF MEN NEEDED TAMPONS TAMPONS WOULD BE FREE- THERE WOULD
BE A HOLDER FOR THEM IN THE CONSOLE OF YOUR CAR- THERE WOULD
BE MONTHLY DAYS OFF FOR THEIR CYCLES!
1 Comments,
165 Views,
8 Votes
,0.47 Score
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Living Outside Teh Fringe 10/4/2005
I have one question that nobody yet has gotten. The question
is...
If you hook up a horn backwards, does it suck or blow? Good
luck with this one, folks. LOL!!
1 Comments,
114 Views,
10 Votes
,2.39 Score
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Rascist jokes - you may be offended 9/15/2005
Q: What do blacks and apples have in common?
<br>
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.
1 Comments,
75 Views,
4 Votes
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Smart Girl! 9/14/2005
The father of a beautiful 19 year old girl was quite angry
when he learned his had hitch hiked alone from
Los Angeles to Baltimore. "Why, you could have been
molested, assaulted-!" He barked.
"I was perfectly safe Pop, " the girl replied
smiling, "every time a man picked me up, I told them
I was going to Baltimore because it had the best STD clinic
in the country."
3 Comments,
226 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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AMAZING CONCLUSION 9/8/2005
INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS WITH AN AMAZING CONCLUSION
<br>
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees
is BOWLING
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
6. The sport of ...
1 Comments,
120 Views,
8 Votes
,5.80 Score
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Sex problem 9/5/2005
A bloke goes to the doctor and says, "I got this sex
problem, doc". "Well", says the quack,
"Tell me about your average day". "Well,
it all starts in the middle of the night. My wife always wakes
me up about 3:00 am for nookie and then again about 5 o'clock
so we can spend a couple of hours making love before I go to
work".
<br>
"Oh I see", said the doc. "No, hang on",
said the ...
1 Comments,
224 Views,
13 Votes
,5.83 Score
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Bitch and Pussy 8/18/2005
A comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom
I've got a problem."
She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys
at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand.
She asks him what they are.
He says "well, pussy and bitch".
She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat
like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female like our
Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the ...
1 Comments,
150 Views,
10 Votes
,4.18 Score
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Resume of the President of the United States 8/2/2005
RESUME
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH
> 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
> Washington, DC 20520
>
> EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
>
> Law Enforcement:
> I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976
> for driving under the influence of alcohol. I
> pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
> license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving
> record has ...
0 Comments,
64 Views,
26 Votes
,2.81 Score
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GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS 7/27/2005
>Two walked into a pharmacy one day, picked
out a box of Tampax
>and proceeded to the checkout counter.
>The man at the counter asked the older boy, ",
how old are you?" "Eight,
> the boy replied.
> The man continued, "Do you know what these are
used for?" The boy replied
> "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're
for him. He's my brother. He
>s ...
0 Comments,
245 Views,
17 Votes
,4.82 Score
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women true state 7/27/2005
A study in Wisconsin shows that the kind of male face a woman
finds attractive can differ, depending on where a woman
is in her menstrual cycle.
<br>
For instance, if she is ovulating she is attracted to men
with rugged and masculine features.
<br>
If she is menstruating she is more prone to prefer a man with
scissors shoved in his temple and a fork jammed up his arse ...
0 Comments,
150 Views,
19 Votes
,3.52 Score
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The Whys of Men 7/7/2005
The Whys of Men
<br>
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?
(because they are plugged into a genius)
<br>
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
<br>
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
<br>
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because ...
0 Comments,
132 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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Joke A Few Updated Nursery Rhymes 5/31/2005
JACK AND JILL
Went up the hillTo have a little fun-
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a .
<br>
MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two hunks of whole wheat bread
<br>
LITTLE MISS Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Her clothes all tattered and torn.
It had not been the spider
that crept up beside her
But ...
1 Comments,
184 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score
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stimple joke 5/25/2005
a man walks in to a put with a stearing wheel on his fly
<br>
so the bar man says u have got a stearing wheel on the frunt
of your pants
<br>
the othere man ancers back yea i know it driving my nuts
1 Comments,
200 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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Jokes 5/23/2005
What do you get from a pampered cow?
<br>
Spoiled Milk
<br>
He(3x)
0 Comments,
100 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
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David & Goliath? 5/20/2005
It's wednesday afternoon in the office of the President
of La Republique de France.
<br>
The phones rings, and is picked up..
"Chirac ici"
<br>
"Is That Jack Shirack tha leader of France?"
says a broad Irish voice.
<br>
"It is. And you, monsieur, are?"
<br>
" I'm Dessie Fanaghan from Kiltimagh. I must
inform your presidentship that we in Mayo have ...
1 Comments,
142 Views,
4 Votes
,0.53 Score
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How do I love thee 5/19/2005
This is an twist on a shakespeare peom
<br>
<br>
<br>
Oh Heratio, how do I love thee, Let me count the ways......One
inch, Two inch Three inch four inch
0 Comments,
146 Views,
9 Votes
,2.57 Score
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